The Worst Part about Super Bowl LIII


No, it’s not the low score. It’s the name.

Here’s the truth: most people can’t convert Roman numerals above 10. Anything with a L, C, D, or M is a lost cause. It’s time for the NFL to change its numbering of these Super Bowls. Don’t wait until the 89th Super Bowl to realize how terrible the next decade will be. Google can’t handle the server load of everyone searching “XCVI Roman numeral to number.”

Roman numerals are the number equivalent of a millennial watching a movie on Betamax. It’s just inconvenient for everyone involved. Is there a worse way for Super Bowls to be numbered? Sure, they could be in tally marks, or numbers in base 3.

Western civilization is wonderful, and we have much to be proud of. We’ve created some of the great achievements in history. Things like the printing press, the university system, women’s rights and Taco Bell. But when it comes to counting, the Arabs got it right. Let’s not be like the Chinese, still unwilling to embace the fork after all these years.


Is there a place for Roman numerals?

As I mentioned above, most people get the idea of Roman numerals up to 10. Therefore, on a series of 10 or fewer items, Roman numerals are acceptable.

Star Wars is a perfect example of everything going right (in the numbering). We have Episode I through Episode VIII. Episode IX will be released later this year to tie everything up in a nice bow. God willing, the series will end there. The other Star Wars movies (Solo, Rogue One, and the Christmas Special) are not in the main series and do not get Roman numerals.

Rocky was doing great, and tripped at the finish line. As a result, we have the perfectly consistent main series of Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, and Balboa.


How to do everything wrong

WWE just can’t make up its mind when it comes to WrestleMania. The first WrestleMania is, of course, called WrestleMania. Next year came WrestleMania 2. Then came WrestleMania III. What? What happened? Why did they change after just one year?

Despite the early misstep, everything seemed on solid ground for a while. WrestleMania III through WrestleMania XII were all Roman numerals. Then came WrestleMania 13, and it’s been a crapshoot ever since. Here are some highlights:

  • WrestleMania 2000 – This was not, in fact, the 2000th WrestleMania
  • WreslteMania X8 – Possibly the worst way to say 18
  • WrestleMania 25 – Also called the 25th anniversary of WrestleMania

The last four WrestleMania logos have been without any number or numeral, so perhaps WWE has learned its lesson. If Vince McMahon has finally figured this out, then the NFL has even more to fear from the returning XFL.

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